Wi-Fi-Less Flight

Because this flight continues on as an international one after we depart JFK*, there will be no Wi-Fi available on this flight.” And with that, my entire plan “A” for keeping occupied for five hours in yet another large metal tube found itself unraveled. No internet. No emails. No progress. This after the Delta website was down over 12 hours yesterday whilst I was trying to check in.

Instead I completed two chapters of Pre-Calculus homework (yes, ambling a long that Econ route slowly but surely) and discovered that I self-teach a lot better than having someone talk at me.  I “sent” a couple of emails based on what had been saved in my inbox. But the frustration lingers, today was supposed to be An Important Day at Work and if everything goes smoothly I should be able to blog about New Awesomeness. Somehow knowing that New Awesomeness is out there but I can’t get email statuses on it makes me unhappy.

I will give Delta this, they’ve recently updated their safety video and for anyone who has either a sharp eye or flies way-too-much, you’ll notice that the pretty redhead who over-emphasized how “Smoking is NOT allowed on ANY Delta flight” from a couple of years back, is now the pretty redhead who shakes her finger at the “example smoker” in the scenario (while another pretty lady emphasizes how “Smoking is NOT allowed on ANY Delta flight”). The rest of the video is chock-a-block full of other visual tongue-in-cheek. Examples: a person using a typewriter instead of a laptop, the guy smoking was dressed as Sherlock Holmes, grandma had a full boom box that she had to put away (because the card shows you can’t use radio on the plane, and the graphic is, you guessed it, a boom box).  It’s nice to see a sense of humor brought into what is usually otherwise an incredibly dull five to ten minutes in which we yet again learn we must know where the nearest exit is, that our seat cushions are flotation devices, that the air bag will not inflate but don’t worry, and that the seatbelt on a plane is apparently so detailed a contraption that we need to not only have verbal cues but visual, slow-motion ones as well.

Apparently in awareness of breast cancer month, we had the opportunity to purchase a pink martini, for $7. Here’s the interesting bit: Delta is “cashless cabin”, EXCEPT for purchase of the pink martini. So please riddle me that, as my seatmate had to re-dig-out her wallet to provide a card for her breakfast, because the flight attendant couldn’t take cash. Then 90 minutes later he could if she wanted a pink martini. The economics and policies remain inconsistent and odd.  Given the adage that “the way to make a little money in the airline industry is to sink a lot of money into it”; you’d think they’d be up for all that traffic would bear. I suppose it’s a trade-off against the incremental sales they would make by people who prefer to transact in cash when possible vs. the time it takes for a flight attendant to make change if necessary, and track the cash itself. (NB: if you purchase with a credit card in the cashless cabin your only option for a receipt is to have it emailed to you – which requires the attendant hand you a machine, you type your email in, and you hand it back.)   So I’m not entirely sure what is “gained” here. I do know that I was offered a seat upgrade for $50 on what was then a full flight, that a checked bag would have cost me another $20 or $50 (I can’t remember), and that I’m still surprised they don’t charge for the overhead compartment.  (Mark my word, that is coming).

We’re about an hour from landing and I don’t want to watch one of the movies, I might bust out the PreCalc book again, and I wish I had brought my knitting. I am also going to regret having told work not to worry, that I would have connectivity for most of the trip. The fact of the matter is Sur La Table (like Expedia) will do just fine without me, but I’m not sure how well I will do without it.



*Hey, I don’t work for a travel company anymore! Why am I flying to New York? Great question. There are seven women of variant age (all within about 5 years of mine) gaggling, giggling, and galloping through New York as I type this; I will join them in about three hours. Then I will spend the next 40 hours doing All Kinds of New York Things, mostly including food and entertainment. I needn’t mention the scale has been particularly sassy of late, so this weekend is going to be an exercise in portion control. Good luck with that.


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