Firstly, and this is super depressing to write, understand that you will never be 100% private, and that privacy is also a never ending game. Everything we do online has an electronic trail that leads back to us and relies on the infrastructure of the entities we interact with to keep us private. In most cases – and especially when we are using “free” services – *we* are the product.
DeleteMe
Deleteme is a service you pay for that identifies how much of your personal information is out there for use/abuse, and helps you remove it: search engine results, data brokers (these are the companies that purchase from like Facebook and Amazon all kinds of data about you, and then they marry it up with other data they’ve gathered), and things like public records (e.g., why you can search someone’s name and see them on White Pages, Spokeo, etc.). Remember the old days when White Pages was a physical book and you picked up your rotary phone to call them to tell them to remove you from the book (okay maybe you don’t but I do)? Those days are gone, and now every site has a different process. Using a service like Deleteme can help streamline that.
That said, there are places where you may want to share information, but only to people you know and like. This could be on Facebook, LinkedIn, whatever. Deleteme won’t delete from what you’ve specified there, and so there are some things you will want to do to make sure that your information only is visible to the people you want to see it.
Social Media
Meta (Facebook, Instagram, Threads)
On Facebook, go to the top right screen, click your avatar, go to Privacy Settings, and there’s a whole menu of things you can do. Here are some recommendations:
- Identify who can see your profile information (things like your email, birthday, city, who can see your friends, who can see your people and pages, who can see your posts/stories, limiting your past posts, etc.
- Most of these rely on a curated friend group and someone knowing you’re on Facebook and sending you an invite that you must accept (or direct) before they can see your stuff.
- The levels are typically: Only Me, Friends, Public, or a curated group
You should then update your Ad topics in account center: this is who gets to advertise to you and what they get for it. Go to “Ad Preferences”, “Manage Info”, which will tell you how your data is used for advertising.
Finally – there is a section where you can view and manage your activities on Meta products. Note that it will have your activities across all Meta products (Facebook, Instagram, Threads) and will give you an idea of what all they track. And if you continue reading, there’s the FBP browser extension that can curb even more.
Instagram and Threads have similar experiences – go to your profile and there is a section that links to your privacy. Remember that unique identifiers are best for people who are trying to invade your privacy: usernames, emails, etc. Keep your email(s) private, and usernames unique, if you want to make it harder (never impossible) for someone to find you.
X/Twitter
X (fka Twitter) has a Privacy & Security section in which you can control your visibility, your post visibility, people’s access to your DM’s, etc.
LinkedIn
Much as with Facebook, on LinkedIn you can lock down to just your network of chosen people, make it so you don’t show up in search results (or only show up for a certain level of “connectedness”, e.g., if you and I know the same person I can see you, but if I know someone who knows someone who knows you, I can’t). You can also specify how LinkedIn uses your data.
Reddit
One of the very first things that Reddit will tell you in their Privacy Policy is that they are a public platform. Anyone can see your profiles, posts, and comments, meaning that a person with a lot of spare time and access to their API’s could sieve through your post history and look for context clues of who you are (because your username can be blissfully anonymized, like “TigerPanda640” or suchlike.
Microsoft
Your Microsoft account is likely also tied to your Xbox account or other products, and much as with other providers and platforms you can control some things.
In the Settings & Privacy tab of your Account Overview, and walk through the Privacy “Make sure you’re safe and secure” guide. It will also link you to the different Microsoft product structures (e.g., Xbox, Teams, etc.)
NOTE: much as with Reddit, Xbox handles are public, and so you would want to have a handle that isn’t easily identifiable as you.
Most Microsoft data visibility is within your organization (so at work, people can see your work email information; at home, only you can see your email information (or your family if you have a family account)). It’s not like there’s a forum in which that information would be scrapable by simple search; for someone to get ahold of this there would have to be an actual security breach of some kind. For that, see “Security” to avoid the impact there.
Apple
Apple is KNOWN for its privacy and security, and much like Microsoft there isn’t a way for someone to get your information *from* Apple unless you shared it out or unless they’ve been breached. Much as with all these other entities, go to your profile, and adjust any privacy/security settings as appropriate.
Google
There are two places to lock down your Google information: one is locking it down from Google (managing your ad settings and activity controls) and the other is locking down your account information (and who can see it, including in product reviews and endorsements. To address that, go to your account, go to Personal Info, and under “choose what others see” select “Go to About Me”. You can see your visibility per information item there and make it private or visible to anyone.
Useful Apps are Useful, but…
Yelp. Open Table, DoorDash. Lyft. Instacart. Any application on your phone that requires you to log in, is getting some kind of data about you and has an account for you. (Even if it doesn’t require a login, that app likely has information about your phone, location, etc. it can get as part of existing on your phone). In your account settings you should be able to update how much is visible to someone (either at the company or as part of an advertiser).
Other Websites
There will be sites you *want* your image on – a local foundation, board service, etc. – that you cannot lock down (because that would defeat the purpose of visibility). For these, there are a few things you can do, though it would be hard to enforce:
- Use a unique picture. In the old days someone could take a picture, reverse image search, and find everywhere else that picture is used, to draw a connection to different places a person works/does work. (They can still do this). However, with AI, they could now use that picture to extrapolate similar other pictures so the picture no longer has to be exact to trace you.
- See if the information can be behind a log in (e.g., if it’s board information, require membership to log in)
- Use an avatar instead of a picture (this… can feel unprofessional)
- Use abbreviations of names (e.g., B. Conti or Bobbie C) – small roadblocks can be useful.
- Do not have emails useable on a website. E.g., instead of bobbie.conti@gmail.com, which can be picked up and read by a scraping machine (and useful for creating a spam attack), you can list it as bobbie.conti, on gmail.
- Website owners can make things a little easier by requiring verification of humanity and actual enrollment for newsletters – e.g., when someone “signs up” for their newsletter, they should send a confirmation request/update to the email address *before* actually signing them into the email service. I love websites that do this because it makes it harder for people to use them in spam attacks.
Nom Nom Nom on your Data: Cookies
Cookies are little trackers that websites drop onto your local machine. If you log in to a website on your PC, and then on your phone, it’s dropped cookies in both places as relates to your log in (if you had one) or any number of other log ins (if they’re affiliated with say, Facebook). This means that when you go back to the site six days later, it can go to your cookies file and read all of the cookies in that file: and it will know things like what other sites you’ve been to, what you looked at, etc.
“Cookies” and your “cookie hygiene” are what comes into play when you go to a website and it gives you that “Accept All”, “Reject All”, and then typically a setting where you can “pick”. The options are typically:
- Functional – these you typically cannot opt out of, and they will help convey information to the site owner about issues with their site, performance, etc.
- Experiential – these are things they track like your preferred products, pages, etc.
- Advertising/Marketing – these are things like tracking what specific things you looked at and marrying it up with other data to either infer what you would like (target advertising to you) or to have other sites use (so they can target advertising to you).
You can, for example, reject all cookies out of hand. You can also go through and clean out “cookie deposits” on your machines. Because cookies are dropped and used by a browser, the instructions on how to remove them are browser specific:
- Edge
- Go to Settings, Privacy, Clear Browsing Data, click Control and Shift and Delete at the same time.
- Safari
- Go to Settings & Preferences, go to your Privacy tab, click Manage Website Data or Clear History and Website Data, select Remove All (or pick which sites), and click Remove Now or Delete to Confirm.
- You can also select to block all cookies, and prevent cross-site tracking.
- Chrome
- On Chrome, at top right, click More (with the vertical 3 dots), and select Delete Browsing Data. Choose a time range (last hour, all time etc.) and specify which information you want to remove.
- Duck Duck Go
- Duck Duck Go doesn’t store cookies and cache.
- FireFox
- Click on the menu button (the three horizontal lines), select Preferences or Options, go to the Privacy and Security panel, in the Cookies and Site Data section, click “Clear Data”. You can elect to clear cookies, site data, or both.
Shields Up or Shields Breached: Browser Extensions
Browser extensions can help or hurt, depending on which browsers and which extensions. A Browser extension is software that will extend the functionality of your browser: it is supposed to add helpful things. These are things like password managers, social media tools, and ad blockers.
Helpful Extensions
- Fluff Busting Purity – this will remove Facebook’s ability to track you and spam you with ads. It hides sponsored posts, suggested posts, newsfeed posts from unknown authors, allows you to give it specific phrases for topics to avoid, etc.
- Ghostery is a web privacy extension that blocks trackers, ads, and can opt you out of automatic cookie dumping (aka “never consent”)
- Bitwarden has a browser extension for ease of access to your vault.
Generally speaking, most beneficial/altruistic extensions operate on donations (e.g., FB Purity and Ghostery do), and so it’s nice to slide a few dollars their way (if you can).
Private Messaging
There are a variety of messenger services out there, including iMessage (which comes with an iphone), regular SMS texting, WhatsApp, and Signal. WhatsApp and Signal offer double-ended encryption, meaning that, in theory, there is encryption on your device and encryption on the recipient’s device, and the intermediary (the messenging service) cannot access or decrypt your messages (they’d have to have access to both phones). That said, there is evidence that WhatsApp has a “back door” – the recipient of any message can flag it, and once that message is flagged it is copied and sent to Facebook/Meta for review. This means that there is nothing stopping WhatsApp from “self flagging” a message for perusal).
Instead, I advocate Signal. Signal is end to end encrypted, there is no evidence of a back door, and Signal has stated *in court* that it has no way of decrypting messages (nor will it build a back door to support that). Signal is also supported via donation.
App Hygiene
When you download an app to your phone, especially an iPhone, it runs you through a bunch of questions and may include Terms and Conditions. The biggest things it will ask you, though is:
- Is it allowed access to your camera and microphone?
- Is it allowed access to your photo library?
- Is it allowed access to your contacts?
- Is it allowed access to your location?
iPhones
Each of the privacy settings above are available in the individual app menu: go to Settings, scroll down to Apps, select which app you’re interested in.
You can:
- Set location usage to “always”, “while using”, and “never” (and if an app is using your location it will have the little location arrow showing purple or outlined). Some also have “Ask next time or when I share”.
- Set access to photos (None, limited access (where you select which ones), Full access)
- Microphone and Camera are typically toggles.
- Contacts offer None, Limited (select users), Full access.
Android
To review the privacy settings on an Android Phone, go to Settings, App, the specific app, and then Permissions. Mostly you can toggle between allow and don’t allow.
Sniff Sniff
Let’s say you’ve done the above – you’ve locked down your socials, you’ve used deleteme – the barn doors are closed! Except there’s a window, and that window is you out in the world with your computer – let’s close that window.
- “Free Wifi” isn’t free, and it could be problematic. When you use your machine to connect to free wifi, you are giving up some measure of information about your machine and also what you are doing – they can get your IP address/MAC address (basically, they have an identifier for that machine/you), they can see what sites you go to (yes even in incognito mode), etc. They don’t see your passwords, but they would be able to infer from the collection of data over time (and marrying it up with that broker data) who you are and what you do and where you go.
- Use a VPN on your machines if you’re in public – yes, this is a pain and yes, you have to pay for it. A good one is Nord VPN. This establishes a secure network and so while you would be able to join the “free” wifi, the sharing of your IP address, visibility into what sites you go to, etc. is gone.
- Do not plug into public USB ports to charge your phones or any device. Instead, get a USB Condom (yes it’s called that). A USB condom looks like a little USB “bridge” that has one end you stick YOUR USB into, and the other end you stick into the “free” power port. USB condoms work by shorting the data pins and only allowing the power pins to work on a USB connection.
Doxing
Doxing is rooted in the phrase “dox” which in turn is a bastardization of “docs” which is essentially the idea that someone has all your docs/documentation. In practical terms, if someone says they have been “doxed” or “doxxed”, or will “dox” you, what they are doing/have done is assembled enough information about you that they can blab to the world that User123 is in fact Princess Buttercup who lives at 642 Florin Way, Fire Swamp, Guilder, Fantasyland, and her phone number is 555-867-5309 and her IP is (insert rando ip address here). Someone “doxing” you means they know where you are and who you are and can publish that information, and it is an actual threat to your safety.
Here’s the thing to understand about doxing:
- Some people can actually do it,
- Most people threaten to do it but don’t actually do it,
- Once you have been doxed it is very hard to get private again.
If you have set your stuff to private, used pseudonyms where you can, avoided posting anything publicly, used deleteme, etc. etc., it should be very hard to dox you. Doxing takes a lot of effort for a hobbyist and practically none for a hacker, but most hackers do not want to dox you they just want your money – so lock down your passwords and use at least 2 factor authentication on your bank accounts and rotate your credentials regularly.
Avoiding Doxxing
The person who wants to dox you on a public forum is a sad pathetic cretin who has nothing better to do in their life than make other people miserable because then maybe they can feel something. Doxers get off on the power trip of “I know who you are” and so there are two ways to combat this:
- Yea, and??
- This method (the it’s okay if you know who I am) is only good if you are reasonably sure of your physical security and circumstances – if you are living off the grid in remote Montana and surrounded by security cameras and a moat with sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, well, then that works just fine.
- Alternatively, if you’re reasonably sure that someone would not have a real-world grudge against you then the likelihood that anyone would do anything with that data is small. But. That relies on rational actors, and we have precious few of those these days.
- This is not “Come at me, Bro”. This is “all of the information you have/had is publicly available anyway and I am reasonably sure of my physical security”.
- Locking down your stuff to make it hard.
- See all of the stuff above. Use pseudonyms, don’t share your email address (or have a “spamhole” email address – I use my gmail for this – and then a separate one that is your “real people use this” and maybe a third for “this is my banking stuff email”), post privately, curate your audience.
- Do Not Engage with Trolls.
- Don’t get into online pissing contests in forums with people who are clearly escalating and/or not hearing it.
- Leave the Chat
If you have been Doxed or are Threatened with Doxing
First, Don’t panic. Panic will not serve you now… force that panic down, get a cold glass of water, and if it helps to think about you leaping into action to help a friend, then do that.
- Document – screenshot the discourse, save emails, identify what was said, who said it, their username/handle, any identifying information you have about them, what they did or did not say they had done or would do, and how much information they have disclosed already.
- Go back and clean your stuff – if you missed something or if there is any indication of where they got that information from, go back and see if you can further lock it down.
- If you can, it will prevent others from using it.
- If you can’t, it’s something to inform the site owners in terms of a privacy/ security hole.
- Report the incident to whichever platform the doxing occurred on (e.g., if on Reddit someone says they’re going to dox you, report it to Reddit) and occurred from (e.g., if that Redditor says they found your info on Facebook, also report it to Facebook). Keep copies of your reports, date and time sent, and any replies you get.
- Call in the law. Depending on the nature of the doxing you may want to involve your local police, sheriff, and or the FBI. This has twofold purpose: one, is you may need their help for this (especially if this includes any sort of physical threat), but secondly, a popular pastime of some doxers is to “swat” your house (this is where they anonymously call in an incident at your house and the SWAT team shows up earnestly; if you’ve been doxed and you let them know you’ve been doxed they will be prepared to address it.
- Get legal help. Doxing is also a form of harassment, and because it can lead to physical consequences (Even if the person *doing the doxing* wasn’t the one threatening physical harm – usually there’s one troll to share the information and one or more trolls to do something with that information), you want legal help in pursuing the doxer (if you can).
Other Things to Think About
How People Can Find You
- Do you have a personalized plate? Does your car have lots of identifying stickers (e.g., “proud parent of a child at XYZ School”)
- Do you have a blog?
- Do you have a business *in your name*? Registered to your home address?
- Are you prominently featured on one or more public websites?
- Do you own property in your name (most public assessor’s sites are linked from Zillow, for example, and so addresses can be “backed in” to people’s names).
- Google yourself. You’d be surprised. I’m on a registry for my son’s high school PTA from four years ago.
- If you share photos, understand that every photo is by default encoded with metadata about where and when it was taken. That metadata can travel with the photo: in your iPhone, select any photo, and then slowly scroll up while touching the photo: you will see the date, time, what camera took it, what size the photo was, and so forth. If you share a photo, you’re going to share that metadata too. You can strip it from the photo before sharing it, and you can set your photo app on your phone to not include information like location data.
Perspective
You may find yourself – as I do, writing this – trying to do the risk assessment on privacy. After all, I have a personalized plate, I have property in my name, all of my social media handles (with the exception of Reddit and Xbox) are essentially my name and I have 15 years of blogging under my name with a personalized domain. Detaching myself from all of that would be a huge pain if not impossible. There are still things I do though: I secure my stuff, have a spamhole email, use Bitwarden, use USB condoms, etc. If a hacker is going to read through 15 years of posting history to glean information about me what they will find is that I am too hung up on work, I’m neurotic, I have an internet addiction that is useful, and occasionally I “enjoy” testing my physical capabilities.
Risk has three elements:
- What could go wrong?
- How bad would it be if it did?
- How likely is it to happen?
(Benefit also has the same calculation and so to illustrate that I will use a positive example):
- What could go right? I could win the lottery.
- How good would it be if I did? Pretty darned good!
- How likely is it to happen? Extremely unlikely as I don’t often buy tickets.
Therefore, preparing for a lottery win, while it sounds like a fun distraction, is probably not useful.
Now the less fun side:
- What could go wrong? I could get doxed on Reddit.
- How bad would it be if it did? Not sure. Most of what I’ve posted are comments about sewing techniques or gardening. But they could find my reddit handle and attribute it to me, and maybe have my name and address and personal email to share. That said:
- My address is already available by a property records search and/or white pages.I have four emails (active, two dormant) and depending on which one they share I make that one the spam hole one (if it isn’t already) and have to spend a tedious afternoon rewiring things.
- If they show up at my house (or threaten to show up at my house) things would be problematic and for that I would engage law enforcement and probably an attorney.
- How likely is it to happen? Also not sure. Most of what I post is banal, but I am associated with things that would make a certain factor in our society upset (love that for them), and so… I don’t know. I’m a mere Board Member, but one cannot plumb the depths of stupid mixed with malice. So to address a *potential* likelihood, I do some of the prudent things.
There is no foolproof way to avoid privacy/security/doxing issues, but there are steps you can take.